# Marketing Voice v2 — Distillation Proposal Proposed copy changes across the site, measured against `marketing-voice.md`. Nothing applied yet — review, redline, then I'll commit the survivors. The aim: cut hedges, kill restated headings, collapse repetition across pages, and replace abstract phrasing with concrete nouns. Where two sentences carry one idea, one sentence wins. --- ## 1. Cross-site naming ### "1:1" still appears in 6+ places We already changed the FAQ heading on the dog-walking page. The phrase still lives in navigation, footer, mega menu, decision blocks, FAQs, and SEO metadata. It's calendar-speak — customers say "solo" or "one-on-one". | Location | Current | Proposed | |---|---|---| | `homepage.ts` mobileLinks | `1:1 Walks` | `Solo Walks` | | `homepage.ts` megaMenuServices | `1:1 Walks` / `Personalised solo walks` | `Solo Walks` / `One dog. One walker.` | | `homepage.ts` services[1] | `1:1 Walks` | `Solo Walks` | | `homepage.ts` testimonials.service | `1:1 Walk` | `Solo Walk` | | `homepage.ts` booking.serviceOptions | `1:1 Walks` | `Solo Walks` | | `homepage.ts` footer.navigationLinks | `1:1 Walks` | `Solo Walks` | | `pack-walks.ts` paragraphs[4] | `our 1:1 walks are the better fit` | `our solo walks are the better fit` | | `dog-walking.ts` hero.eyebrow | `1:1 Walks` | `Solo Walks` | | `dog-walking.ts` decision.title | `Is a 1:1 walk right for your dog?` | `Is a solo walk right for your dog?` | | `dog-walking.ts` FAQ | `1:1 walks start from...` | `Solo walks start from...` | Open question: keep `1:1` in SEO `` / `description` if it carries search volume, or sweep that too? I'd keep it on `llms.txt` and meta titles where the keyword has weight, drop it in body copy. --- ## 2. Homepage (`homepage.ts`) ### Hero subtitle — already tight, leave it. ✅ Current: "Reliable dog walking across Auckland Central. Happier dogs. Quieter evenings." Keep. ### Intro Current: `"Professional dog walking services across Auckland."` Proposal: **`"Dog walking across Auckland Central."`** Why: "Professional services" is filler — readers already assume it. The location is the real specificity; drop "Auckland", say "Auckland Central" since that's where we actually are. ### Founder story body Current: > "Most companies sell walks. We sell a calmer evening at home." > "Same walker. Small groups. Real attention. Your dog learns to trust one face at the door — not a rotating roster." > "You know who has your dog. Your dog knows who is collecting them. And you come home to a tired, happy one. Ready to" Proposal — line 3 is doing two jobs and stumbles into the CTA: > "Most companies sell walks. We sell a calmer evening at home." > "Same walker. Small groups. Real attention. Your dog learns one face at the door, not a rotating roster." > "You know who has your dog. They know who's at the door. You come home to a tired, happy one. Ready to" Reasons: kill "trust one face" (abstract + redundant with later "tired, happy one"), trim "to trust" (we just said we sell trust). Contraction on "they know who's" makes it sound spoken. ### How it works — phase benefits The "benefit" line under each phase is doing the job of the title. Right now both compete. | Phase | Current title + benefit | Proposal | |---|---|---| | Meet | `No pressure, just clarity` + `A proper Meet & Greet at home` | Drop the benefit subtitle. Title carries enough. | | Settle | `A smoother start for nervous dogs` + `Your dog settles in. No rushing.` | Drop benefit subtitle. | | Thrive | `The outcome you actually want` + `Then the routine does the work` | Drop benefit subtitle — it's meta-commentary. | Alternative if benefit subtitles are structural: rewrite as deliverables, not vibes. `Free, 30 mins, your home` / `Two walks before regulars` / `Photo updates, every walk`. ### Values Current titles read OK. Bodies have a few hedges to fix: - `"4 to 8 dogs. Always. Calm, structured walks with real attention for every dog."` → **`"4 to 8 dogs. Always. Calm walks, real attention."`** (drop "for every dog" — implied) - `"Pet first aid certified. Careful screening. Proactive handling. Not extras — the baseline."` → keep, but "proactive handling" is fluff. → **`"Pet first aid certified. Careful screening. Not extras — the baseline."`** - `"You should not have to chase your dog walker. Consistent pickup. Clear communication. Nothing to manage."` → **`"You shouldn't have to chase a dog walker. Same pickup time. Clear updates. Nothing to manage."`** (contraction, "consistent pickup" → "same pickup time") ### Booking subtitles Current generalSubtitle: `"A few details. We reply properly within 24 hours."` "Properly" is a hedge that sounds defensive. Drop it. → **`"A few details. We reply within 24 hours."`** ### Locations & Hours intro Current: `"We cover most of Auckland Central's suburbs:"` Proposal: **`"We cover Auckland Central:"`** "Most of" is a hedge that undercuts the long list of suburbs immediately below. --- ## 3. Pack Walks (`pack-walks.ts`) ### Hero — 5 paragraphs is too many The hero currently delivers: who it's for, how it works, walk length, coverage, who it isn't for. Five paragraphs. Most heroes earn their keep in 2-3. The "who it isn't for" line belongs in the decision block (and it's already there). Proposal — collapse to three paragraphs: > "Tiny Gang is built for small and medium dogs who like the right kind of company. 4 to 8 dogs, matched on size and energy." > > "Free Meet & Greet at home, then two assessment walks. Regular slot only once we know the fit is right." > > "60 to 75 minutes on the ground. We rotate Western Springs, Fowlds Park, Cornwall Park, Grey Lynn Park, and Oakley Creek — picked on the day for weather and group." Coverage line moves down to the Highlight or Pricing block where it does work. The "if your dog isn't a fit" line lives in the decision block — no need to preview it here. ### Pricing intro Current: `"Right amount of exercise. Right amount of social time. Same walker every week."` Proposal: **`"Right exercise. Right social time. Same walker every week."`** Cut the repeated "amount of". Reads faster. ### Pricing plan features The features hedge with "Best for…" which sounds product-y. Rewrite as straight facts: | Plan | Current 4th feature | Proposal | |---|---|---| | 1 Walk Per Week | `Best for dogs starting out` | `Good for dogs starting out` (or drop) | | 2-3 Walks Per Week | `Best fit for busy owners` | `Most popular routine` (matches `popular: true` flag) | | 4-5 Walks Per Week | `Best for high-energy social dogs` | `For high-energy social dogs` | | Casual Pack Walk | `Higher rate than weekly routines` | Drop — price already shows it | ### Benefits intro Current: `"Small groups. Compatible dogs. No chaos. That is why it works."` Proposal: **`"Small groups. Compatible dogs. No chaos. That's why it works."`** Contraction. (Same pattern repeats elsewhere — see § 6.) ### Benefit titles — abstract vs concrete - `"No overwhelming dynamics"` → **`"No bigger dogs to dodge"`** (concrete) - `"A routine you can rely on"` → **`"A weekly routine that sticks"`** (matches highlight block phrasing already used on the same page) - `"Real individual attention"` → **`"Eyes on every dog"`** - `"Safety, built in"` → **`"Safer than a one-size pack"`** ### Booking dogIntro Current: `"Tell us about your dog. Where you are. Anything we should know. We will come back about whether Tiny Gang is the right fit."` Proposal: **`"Tell us about your dog. Where you are. Anything we should know. We'll come back about the fit."`** Contraction, drop "whether Tiny Gang is the right" (implied from page). --- ## 4. Solo Walks (`dog-walking.ts`) ### Hero — five paragraphs again, same pattern Current paragraphs 1-5 cover: who it's for, the dog types, walk length, coverage, honesty-at-Meet-&-Greet. Same compression opportunity. Proposal — three paragraphs: > "Built for dogs who do better one-on-one. Their pace. Their walk. Same walker every time." > > "Reactive on the lead. Recovering from surgery. A senior who needs it slower. An anxious rescue still finding their feet. These are the dogs solo walks are for." > > "30 minutes for seniors or lower energy. 45 for most. 60 for dogs who want a longer outing. Door-to-door, photo update after every walk." The "honesty at Meet & Greet" sentence is already said on every other page — it's a brand-wide promise, not a hero claim. ### Highlight points - `"For larger or more sensitive dogs"` body: `"When your dog needs more space, more clarity, or more attention — this gives us room to do it properly."` → **`"For dogs who need more space, clarity, or attention. We have room to give it."`** (drop "When your dog needs" → just state who it's for) ### Pricing intro Current: `"Shaped around your dog, not a group schedule. For dogs who need extra attention, a steadier pace, or a more personal routine."` Proposal: **`"Shaped around your dog. For dogs who need extra attention, a steadier pace, or more personal time."`** Cuts "not a group schedule" (over-explained by context), trims "more personal routine" → "more personal time" (concrete). ### Pricing plan features Same pattern as pack-walks. Drop hedging "Best for…" labels or rewrite as facts. | Plan | Current 4th feature | Proposal | |---|---|---| | 30 Min | `Good fit for lower-energy dogs` | `For seniors and lower-energy dogs` | | 45 Min | `Best fit for many routines` | `Most popular length` | | 60 Min | `Best for dogs needing a fuller outing` | `For dogs who want a longer outing` | ### Pricing scarcityNote Current: `"A limited number of 1:1 slots are available each week."` Proposal: **`"Solo slots are limited each week."`** Active, shorter, no passive "are available". ### Benefits intro Current: `"More space. Steadier handling. A pace that fits. The whole week feels easier."` Already strong. Keep. ### Benefit titles - `"Full attention. No competition."` — keep. Strong. - `"The walk matches their pace"` → **`"A walk at their pace"`** (more direct) - `"Room to relax"` body has 21 words and ends in "without group pressure" — third time the page implies group pressure. Compress: **`"Without group pressure, anxious dogs move through the world more easily."`** - `"A routine built around you both"` body: `"1:1 gives us flexibility to build a routine that works for your dog and your week."` → **`"We shape the routine around your dog and your week."`** (drop "1:1 gives us flexibility" — meta-framing, redundant) ### Booking dogIntro Current: `"Tell us about your dog. Where you are. Anything we should know. We will come back about the right fit."` Proposal: **`"Tell us about your dog. Where you are. Anything we should know. We'll come back about the fit."`** Match pack-walks pattern; contraction. --- ## 5. Puppy Visits (`puppy-visits.ts`) ### Hero subtitle Current: `"While you're at work, your puppy is fed, played with, and looked after. At home."` This is the v1 voice-doc's chosen example. Keep. ### Hero paragraphs Currently four. Paragraph 3 is the strongest (the growth-plates / vet rationale) and is buried. Reorder + tighten: Proposal: > "A visit means a toilet break, fresh water, a feed if scheduled, play, and calm settling time before we leave. Photo update lands in your phone." > > "Short visits beat long walks while your puppy is growing. Vets recommend low-impact exercise until growth plates settle — usually 12 to 18 months. Visits give them company and stimulation without the joint stress." > > "Visits are also where Goodwalk usually starts. We know your puppy early, so the move to solo walks or Tiny Gang later is smooth." Coverage line ("Across Auckland Central — Mt Eden, Ponsonby...") goes to the chip / FAQ. Three paragraphs, clearer order: what happens → why it's right for puppies → where it leads. ### Highlight title Current: `"Calm routines now. A smoother Tiny Gang later."` Already nice. Keep. ### Decision footnote Current: `"Free Meet & Greet first. Always."` Already nice. Keep. ### Pricing intro Current: `"Built around your puppy. Real support now. Foundations for later, if Tiny Gang is the right fit."` Proposal: **`"Built around your puppy. Real support now. Foundations for whatever comes next."`** "If Tiny Gang is the right fit" hedges and over-explains. The "whatever comes next" implies the same thing without conditional language. ### Plan features — same hedge pattern | Plan | Current 4th feature | Proposal | |---|---|---| | 20 Min | `Good for shorter midday support` | `For shorter midday support` | | 45 Min | `Best fit for many puppies` | `Most popular visit length` | | 60 Min | `Best for pups needing more time` | `For pups who need more time` | ### scarcityNote Current: `"Puppy Visit spaces are limited so we can keep care consistent."` Proposal: **`"Puppy Visit spaces are limited."`** The reason is obvious and over-explained. ### Benefits intro Current: `"The puppy stage moves fast. Daytime visits give your puppy support now — and build the routines that make later life easier."` Proposal: **`"The puppy stage moves fast. Daytime visits help now, and build routines that make later life easier."`** Drop "give your puppy support" (abstract), use "help now" (concrete verb). ### Benefit body fixes - `"Foundations for Tiny Gang later"` body: `"For puppies who may join Tiny Gang one day, early visits build the confidence and routines that make the next step smooth."` — TWO hedges in one sentence ("may", "one day"). → **`"For puppies who'll join Tiny Gang later, early visits build the confidence and routines that make the next step smooth."`** - `"Support for busy owners too"` body has `"during a demanding stage"` — vague. → **`"Real help when puppies are learning fast. Guidance from someone who's been through this stage with dozens of dogs."`** ### FAQ "How long is each visit?" Current answer says "30 minutes — the sweet spot" but the pricing plan starts at **20 minutes**. Inconsistency — fix the FAQ, not the price. Proposal: **`"20 minutes for shorter midday support. 45 minutes for most puppies. 60 minutes if your pup needs more time."`** Matches the pricing plans exactly. ### FAQ "Can Puppy Visits lead into Tiny Gang…" Current: `"Exactly what they are designed for. When your puppy is old enough and the right temperament fit, we already know them well. The next step is smooth, not new."` Proposal: **`"Exactly what they're for. By the time your puppy is old enough, we already know them. The next step is smooth, not new."`** Contraction, drop "and the right temperament fit" (implied), drop "designed for" (passive-corporate). ### Booking dogIntro Current: `"Tell us about your puppy. Where you are. Their routine. Anything we should know — and we will plan the right visit."` Proposal: **`"Tell us about your puppy. Where you are. Their routine. We'll plan the right visit."`** Drop "Anything we should know — and we will" (redundant, hedging). --- ## 6. About page (`about.ts`) ### "Who we are" section Current: > "Alessandra started Goodwalk because she could not find a walker she trusted. So she became one." > "She walks every dog herself. Posts photos to Instagram so you can see your dog's day. Knows some of the Tiny Gang from ten weeks old." > "Thirty-plus five-star Google reviews say the same thing: the dogs adore her, and their owners finally stop worrying." Line 1 is gold. Keep. Line 2 is fine. Line 3 has "say the same thing" which is filler. Proposal line 3: **`"Thirty-plus five-star Google reviews: the dogs adore her, and their owners stop worrying."`** Drop "say the same thing" and "finally" (mild hedge). ### "How we do things" Current: > "Calm handling. Positive reinforcement. A walker who already knows your dog. Same principles, every walk." > "Small packs because attention matters. Free pickup and drop-off because your day should not work around us. First aid certified. Public liability insured. That part is not negotiable." Line 2 is doing six things at once. Split: Proposal: > "Calm handling. Positive reinforcement. A walker who already knows your dog. Same principles, every walk." > "Small packs because attention matters. Free pickup and drop-off because your day shouldn't work around ours." > "First aid certified. Public liability insured. Not negotiable." Three paragraphs, three jobs. Contraction on "shouldn't". ### "Meet the founder" — line 3 (Maya) Current: `"Maya is the reason small dogs sit at the centre of everything. A Cavalier King Charles cross Shih Tzu. Opinionated. Dramatic in the rain. Completely impossible to ignore on a walk — and the best argument we have for building a service around small dogs, not one that just makes room for them."` Strong texture, but ends with a 27-word sentence past the voice budget (max ~24). Split: Proposal: > "Maya is the reason small dogs sit at the centre of everything. A Cavalier King Charles cross Shih Tzu. Opinionated. Dramatic in the rain. Impossible to ignore on a walk." > "She's the best argument we have for a service built around small dogs — not one that just makes room for them." ### FAQ "Why do you specialise in small dogs?" Current: `"Small dogs need different pace, different group dynamics, different handling. Goodwalk was built around that — not adapted from a generic dog-walking model."` Proposal: **`"Small dogs need a different pace, different group dynamics, different handling. We were built around that, not adapted from a generic model."`** Active voice ("We were built" instead of "Goodwalk was built"), trim "dog-walking" (implied). ### FAQ "What suburbs do you cover?" Current has 16 suburb names listed inline. The map / chips already show them. Compress: Proposal: **`"Most of Auckland Central — Ponsonby, Grey Lynn, Mt Eden, Kingsland, Herne Bay, Remuera and surrounds. If you're nearby and unsure, just ask."`** Cuts the list to the highest-recognition six. The exhaustive list lives on the homepage Locations block and the coverage map. --- ## 7. Locations (`locations.ts`) — sweeping pattern Every location intro is structured the same way: descriptive lead → "well-suited / natural home / ideal place for…" → Goodwalk services available → free pickup line. Three of these in a row, the pattern shows. ### Park descriptions — universal cleanup The voice doc says "Replace abstract nouns with concrete verbs". Park blurbs lean on adjective-stacks: - `"offers wide open paths, panoramic views across Auckland, and a mix of gentle and steeper terrain"` → **`"Wide open paths, panoramic views, gentle and steep terrain."`** (drop "offers") - `"Popular with local dog walkers and a staple route for the Tiny Gang"` → keep. - `"A well-used neighbourhood park… with open grass areas and shade trees"` → **`"Neighbourhood park with open grass and shade."`** Recommend a pass on all 30+ park descriptions: cut every "offers", "provides", "with X and Y" sentence opener, and every "well-suited / ideal place / natural home". ### Intro pattern — propose a template Right now Mt Eden's intro is 71 words. Most location intros are 50-80 words. Voice doc says "Body sentences: max ~24". Propose a 3-sentence template: > "[Suburb] [one specific thing — geography, vibe, dog density]. [Goodwalk fact — who from here is in the Tiny Gang / what we run here]. Free pickup and drop-off." Worked example, Mt Eden: > "Mt Eden's volcanic cone, leafy streets, and mix of reserves and quiet paths make it a daily-outing favourite. We run pack walks and solo walks here weekly, with several Tiny Gang regulars based in the suburb. Free pickup and drop-off included." 53 words → still long, but every clause does work. Apply the template to all 17 suburbs in a follow-up pass. --- ## 8. Repeated lines across pages The phrase **"Free pickup and drop-off across Auckland Central"** (or close variants) appears 14+ times: in hero chips, paragraph 4 of every service hero, FAQ answers, the coverage map, the locations page, and the about page. It's a real selling point — but said this often it stops landing. Proposal — vary the wording by surface: - **Chip** (compact): `"Free pickup & drop-off"` - **Hero paragraph**: usually deletable since the chip is right there. If kept: `"Pickup and drop-off included, across Auckland Central."` - **FAQ**: keep specific — that's where someone is actually checking. - **Footer / coverage block**: `"Door-to-door across Auckland Central."` Save the full sentence for places where the suburb list matters. --- ## 9. Summary of recurring fixes If we agree on the principles below, I can sweep these patterns site-wide without you reviewing each one: 1. **Drop "Best for / Best fit"** in pricing features. State who it's for, or drop. 2. **Contractions** ("we'll", "shouldn't", "they're") where the surrounding tone is conversational. 3. **"1:1" → "Solo"** in body copy, navigation, decision blocks. Keep "1:1" in SEO meta/title where keyword volume might matter. 4. **Cut "properly", "actually", "genuinely", "really"** unless the sentence dies without them. 5. **Cut "we will come back about"** → "we'll reply about" / "we'll come back" (less corporate). 6. **Park descriptions**: rewrite the "offers / provides / well-suited / a mix of" sentences as concrete noun phrases. 7. **Service hero paragraphs**: target 3 paragraphs, not 5. Coverage and disqualifier lines move down the page. 8. **Drop reasons that are already obvious from context** — "so we can keep care consistent", "Higher rate than weekly routines", "in your home" after "in-home". --- ## What this changes for the reader - Faster scan on every service page (3 hero paragraphs instead of 5). - Consistent terminology between nav, body, and CTAs (no "1:1" / "Solo" / "one-on-one" mix). - Pricing tables stop sounding like a SaaS comparison grid. - Location pages stop reading like council brochures. ## What it does NOT change - The brand voice from `marketing-voice.md` — this proposal is a stricter application of that voice, not a rewrite of it. - SEO `<title>` / `meta description` / `llms.txt` keywords — those remain under a separate review (the "1:1" tradeoff lives there). - Customer testimonials — never edited. - Service names ("Tiny Gang", "Meet & Greet") — kept verbatim. --- **Next step**: redline this file. Strike the changes you don't want, mark anything that needs different phrasing, and I'll apply the rest in one sweep. Or pick a single section to start with (homepage? service heroes? locations?) so we can validate the voice before going site-wide.