198 lines
7.7 KiB
Markdown
198 lines
7.7 KiB
Markdown
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# Goodwalk Marketing Voice
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A practical guide for writing site copy that sells without sounding like it's selling.
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## The voice in one line
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**A trusted neighbour who happens to be brilliant at this.** Calm, certain, warm, specific. Not corporate. Not chirpy. Not over-promising.
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## What we're borrowing from Apple
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Apple's marketing works because it does three things ruthlessly:
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1. **Leads with the outcome, not the process.** "A thousand songs in your pocket" — not "5GB of solid-state storage."
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2. **Makes the decision feel small.** Confident, declarative sentences. No hedging.
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3. **Cuts every word the meaning doesn't need.** Short. Then one longer line for texture. Then short again.
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For a service business, the equivalent is selling the **evening** (calm dog, settled house, no guilt), not the **walk** (60 minutes, pickup included, group size 4–8).
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## Voice attributes
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| Attribute | What it means | What it isn't |
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|---|---|---|
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| **Calm** | Even cadence. No exclamation marks. No "amazing!" or "incredible!" | Hyped, sales-y |
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| **Certain** | "We do X." Not "We try to X" or "We may be able to X." | Arrogant, brash |
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| **Warm** | Real feeling for dogs and owners. "Your dog comes home tired and happy." | Saccharine, cutesy ("fur babies", "pawsome") |
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| **Specific** | Names suburbs, parks, times. Numbers when they help. | Vague ("various", "a wide range", "we offer") |
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| **Honest** | If a service isn't right for a dog, we say so. | False scarcity, manipulative urgency |
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## Principles
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### 1. Lead with the customer's win, not your feature
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Open every section with what the **owner gets** or what the **dog feels**. The mechanism comes second.
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> ❌ "Tiny Gang Pack Walks are built for Auckland Central owners of small and medium dogs who want a reliable weekly routine."
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>
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> ✅ "Your dog comes home tired and happy. You stop worrying through the workday. That's the whole point."
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### 2. Cut every hedge
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Search-and-destroy these words: *can, may, might, try to, more, genuinely, properly, generally, often, typically, possibly.* Each one quietly weakens the sentence.
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> ❌ "Walks tailored to your dog's pace, confidence, and routine."
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>
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> ✅ "Built around your dog. Their pace. Their walk."
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### 3. Short. Then long. Then short.
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Vary the rhythm. A wall of medium-length sentences is the most boring possible cadence.
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> ❌ "Goodwalk Tiny Gang Pack Walks are built for Auckland Central owners of small and medium dogs who want a reliable weekly routine, a well-exercised dog, and more peace of mind during the workday."
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>
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> ✅ "A walk your dog looks forward to. A routine you don't have to manage. Pickup, walk, drop-off, photo update — every time, without you having to ask."
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### 4. Active voice, present tense
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Things happen. We do them. Your dog enjoys them. Avoid "are designed to" / "is intended for" / "can be tailored."
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> ❌ "Our visits are intended to provide enrichment and support during the day."
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>
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> ✅ "We visit. We play. We feed. You get a photo when we leave."
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### 5. Replace abstract nouns with concrete verbs
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"Provide structure" → "settles them." "Build confidence" → "they stop pulling on the lead." "Ensure consistency" → "same walker, every time."
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### 6. Specifics build trust faster than adjectives
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"A well-loved local park" tells me nothing. "Western Springs at 9:15, Cornwall Park on Wednesdays" tells me you're real.
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### 7. Sell the relief
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Owners aren't buying a walk. They're buying: a quieter evening, a guilt-free workday, one fewer thing to manage. Name those.
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### 8. One idea per sentence
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If you wrote a comma, ask whether it should be a full stop.
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## Patterns we use
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### Headlines
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Two flavours, used purposefully:
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- **Outcome line:** "Come home to a calm, happy dog."
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- **Definitional line:** "Pack walks for small dogs that actually suit small dogs."
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Avoid: "Welcome to Goodwalk." / "About Us." / "Our Services."
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### Subheads / leads
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One sentence. Says what the section delivers, not what it is.
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> ❌ "About our pack walks"
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>
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> ✅ "Four to eight dogs. Same walker every time. Home by mid-afternoon."
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### Body copy
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- 1–3 short paragraphs max per section
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- Lead sentence is the most important; treat it like a headline
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- One link or CTA per paragraph, max
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### CTAs
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Action + outcome, never just "Submit" or "Learn more."
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| ❌ | ✅ |
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|---|---|
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| Submit | Book a free Meet & Greet |
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| Learn more | See if Tiny Gang fits your dog |
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| Contact us | Talk to Aless |
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| Get started | Start with a Meet & Greet |
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### FAQ answers
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- First sentence answers the question completely
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- Second sentence (if any) adds the texture
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- No "Great question!" / "Glad you asked"
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> Q: How big are the pack walks?
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>
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> ✅ "4–8 dogs, carefully matched on size and energy. We never run oversized packs — the small group size is the whole point."
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## Words and phrases
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### Use
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- **You / your dog** — far more than "owners" or "clients"
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- **We** — direct, owned. Not "the team" or "our walkers"
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- **Walk, visit, pickup, drop-off** — the customer's words
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- **Tiny Gang** — our signature, use sparingly so it stays distinct
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- **Auckland Central** — anchors local intent
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- Concrete park names, suburb names, times
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### Avoid
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- "Solutions" — never. We're not enterprise software.
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- "Services" as a noun in body copy — too distant. Name the thing.
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- "Pet parents" / "fur babies" / "pup parents" — twee
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- "Pawsome" / "pawfect" / any pun — never
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- "We are passionate about" — show, don't tell
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- "Industry-leading" / "best in class" / "premium" — empty
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- "Reach out" — say "email" or "text" or "call"
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- Exclamation marks in headlines or body copy
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## Sentence length budget
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- **Headlines:** ≤ 8 words
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- **Subheads:** ≤ 14 words
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- **Body sentences:** average 12–16 words, max ~24
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- **First sentence of any section:** ≤ 12 words
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If you wrote a 30-word sentence, it's two sentences.
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## Before / after, from the live site
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### Hero subtitle (homepage)
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> ❌ "Reliable dog walking for busy Auckland owners who want happier dogs, calmer evenings, and a team they can trust."
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>
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> ✅ "Reliable dog walking across Auckland Central. Happier dogs. Quieter evenings."
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### Pack walks intro paragraph
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> ❌ "Goodwalk Tiny Gang Pack Walks are built for Auckland Central owners of small and medium dogs who want a reliable weekly routine, a well-exercised dog, and more peace of mind during the workday."
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>
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> ✅ "Tiny Gang is built for small and medium dogs who like the right kind of company. Small groups. Same walker. A real walk, every time."
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### Puppy visits subtitle
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> ❌ "Toilet breaks, play, feeding, and calm one-on-one attention — at home, while you're out."
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> ✅ "While you're at work, your puppy is fed, played with, and looked after. At home."
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### Benefits-section intro
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> ❌ "Small, compatible groups give dogs the exercise, confidence, and routine they need without the chaos of oversized pack walks."
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>
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> ✅ "Small groups. Compatible dogs. No chaos. That's why it works."
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## A 60-second editing pass
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Before any new copy ships, run it through this:
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1. **Cut 20%.** If you can't, cut 10%.
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2. **First sentence test.** Could it be a headline? If not, rewrite.
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3. **Hedge sweep.** Delete every *can/may/might/try to/generally/typically* and re-read. Most are improvements.
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4. **Active voice check.** Search for "is/are [verb-ed] by" or "is intended to" and rewrite.
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5. **Specific vs vague.** Replace one vague phrase per paragraph with a real name, number, or detail.
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6. **Read it aloud.** If you take a breath mid-sentence, it's too long.
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## When to break these rules
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- **Legal pages, contracts, privacy.** Be precise and complete, not punchy.
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- **Onboarding instructions.** Clarity > rhythm.
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- **Genuine warmth moments.** A short, slightly longer line about a dog or a moment is allowed — it's the texture. Just don't make it the default.
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