gw-svelte/docs/archive/marketing-voice-v2-proposal.md

# Marketing Voice v2 — Distillation Proposal

Proposed copy changes across the site, measured against `marketing-voice.md`. Nothing applied yet — review, redline, then I'll commit the survivors.

The aim: cut hedges, kill restated headings, collapse repetition across pages, and replace abstract phrasing with concrete nouns. Where two sentences carry one idea, one sentence wins.

---

## 1. Cross-site naming

### "1:1" still appears in 6+ places

We already changed the FAQ heading on the dog-walking page. The phrase still lives in navigation, footer, mega menu, decision blocks, FAQs, and SEO metadata. It's calendar-speak — customers say "solo" or "one-on-one".

| Location | Current | Proposed |
|---|---|---|
| `homepage.ts` mobileLinks | `1:1 Walks` | `Solo Walks` |
| `homepage.ts` megaMenuServices | `1:1 Walks` / `Personalised solo walks` | `Solo Walks` / `One dog. One walker.` |
| `homepage.ts` services[1] | `1:1 Walks` | `Solo Walks` |
| `homepage.ts` testimonials.service | `1:1 Walk` | `Solo Walk` |
| `homepage.ts` booking.serviceOptions | `1:1 Walks` | `Solo Walks` |
| `homepage.ts` footer.navigationLinks | `1:1 Walks` | `Solo Walks` |
| `pack-walks.ts` paragraphs[4] | `our 1:1 walks are the better fit` | `our solo walks are the better fit` |
| `dog-walking.ts` hero.eyebrow | `1:1 Walks` | `Solo Walks` |
| `dog-walking.ts` decision.title | `Is a 1:1 walk right for your dog?` | `Is a solo walk right for your dog?` |
| `dog-walking.ts` FAQ | `1:1 walks start from...` | `Solo walks start from...` |

Open question: keep `1:1` in SEO `<title>` / `description` if it carries search volume, or sweep that too? I'd keep it on `llms.txt` and meta titles where the keyword has weight, drop it in body copy.

---

## 2. Homepage (`homepage.ts`)

### Hero subtitle — already tight, leave it.

✅ Current: "Reliable dog walking across Auckland Central. Happier dogs. Quieter evenings." Keep.

### Intro

Current: `"Professional dog walking services across Auckland."`

Proposal: **`"Dog walking across Auckland Central."`**
Why: "Professional services" is filler — readers already assume it. The location is the real specificity; drop "Auckland", say "Auckland Central" since that's where we actually are.

### Founder story body

Current:
> "Most companies sell walks. We sell a calmer evening at home."
> "Same walker. Small groups. Real attention. Your dog learns to trust one face at the door — not a rotating roster."
> "You know who has your dog. Your dog knows who is collecting them. And you come home to a tired, happy one. Ready to"

Proposal — line 3 is doing two jobs and stumbles into the CTA:
> "Most companies sell walks. We sell a calmer evening at home."
> "Same walker. Small groups. Real attention. Your dog learns one face at the door, not a rotating roster."
> "You know who has your dog. They know who's at the door. You come home to a tired, happy one. Ready to"

Reasons: kill "trust one face" (abstract + redundant with later "tired, happy one"), trim "to trust" (we just said we sell trust). Contraction on "they know who's" makes it sound spoken.

### How it works — phase benefits

The "benefit" line under each phase is doing the job of the title. Right now both compete.

| Phase | Current title + benefit | Proposal |
|---|---|---|
| Meet | `No pressure, just clarity` + `A proper Meet & Greet at home` | Drop the benefit subtitle. Title carries enough. |
| Settle | `A smoother start for nervous dogs` + `Your dog settles in. No rushing.` | Drop benefit subtitle. |
| Thrive | `The outcome you actually want` + `Then the routine does the work` | Drop benefit subtitle — it's meta-commentary. |

Alternative if benefit subtitles are structural: rewrite as deliverables, not vibes. `Free, 30 mins, your home` / `Two walks before regulars` / `Photo updates, every walk`.

### Values

Current titles read OK. Bodies have a few hedges to fix:

- `"4 to 8 dogs. Always. Calm, structured walks with real attention for every dog."` → **`"4 to 8 dogs. Always. Calm walks, real attention."`** (drop "for every dog" — implied)
- `"Pet first aid certified. Careful screening. Proactive handling. Not extras — the baseline."` → keep, but "proactive handling" is fluff. → **`"Pet first aid certified. Careful screening. Not extras — the baseline."`**
- `"You should not have to chase your dog walker. Consistent pickup. Clear communication. Nothing to manage."` → **`"You shouldn't have to chase a dog walker. Same pickup time. Clear updates. Nothing to manage."`** (contraction, "consistent pickup" → "same pickup time")

### Booking subtitles

Current generalSubtitle: `"A few details. We reply properly within 24 hours."`

"Properly" is a hedge that sounds defensive. Drop it.
→ **`"A few details. We reply within 24 hours."`**

### Locations & Hours intro

Current: `"We cover most of Auckland Central's suburbs:"`

Proposal: **`"We cover Auckland Central:"`**
"Most of" is a hedge that undercuts the long list of suburbs immediately below.

---

## 3. Pack Walks (`pack-walks.ts`)

### Hero — 5 paragraphs is too many

The hero currently delivers: who it's for, how it works, walk length, coverage, who it isn't for. Five paragraphs. Most heroes earn their keep in 2-3. The "who it isn't for" line belongs in the decision block (and it's already there).

Proposal — collapse to three paragraphs:

> "Tiny Gang is built for small and medium dogs who like the right kind of company. 4 to 8 dogs, matched on size and energy."
>
> "Free Meet & Greet at home, then two assessment walks. Regular slot only once we know the fit is right."
>
> "60 to 75 minutes on the ground. We rotate Western Springs, Fowlds Park, Cornwall Park, Grey Lynn Park, and Oakley Creek — picked on the day for weather and group."

Coverage line moves down to the Highlight or Pricing block where it does work. The "if your dog isn't a fit" line lives in the decision block — no need to preview it here.

### Pricing intro

Current: `"Right amount of exercise. Right amount of social time. Same walker every week."`

Proposal: **`"Right exercise. Right social time. Same walker every week."`** Cut the repeated "amount of". Reads faster.

### Pricing plan features

The features hedge with "Best for…" which sounds product-y. Rewrite as straight facts:

| Plan | Current 4th feature | Proposal |
|---|---|---|
| 1 Walk Per Week | `Best for dogs starting out` | `Good for dogs starting out` (or drop) |
| 2-3 Walks Per Week | `Best fit for busy owners` | `Most popular routine` (matches `popular: true` flag) |
| 4-5 Walks Per Week | `Best for high-energy social dogs` | `For high-energy social dogs` |
| Casual Pack Walk | `Higher rate than weekly routines` | Drop — price already shows it |

### Benefits intro

Current: `"Small groups. Compatible dogs. No chaos. That is why it works."`

Proposal: **`"Small groups. Compatible dogs. No chaos. That's why it works."`** Contraction. (Same pattern repeats elsewhere — see § 6.)

### Benefit titles — abstract vs concrete

- `"No overwhelming dynamics"` → **`"No bigger dogs to dodge"`** (concrete)
- `"A routine you can rely on"` → **`"A weekly routine that sticks"`** (matches highlight block phrasing already used on the same page)
- `"Real individual attention"` → **`"Eyes on every dog"`**
- `"Safety, built in"` → **`"Safer than a one-size pack"`**

### Booking dogIntro

Current: `"Tell us about your dog. Where you are. Anything we should know. We will come back about whether Tiny Gang is the right fit."`

Proposal: **`"Tell us about your dog. Where you are. Anything we should know. We'll come back about the fit."`** Contraction, drop "whether Tiny Gang is the right" (implied from page).

---

## 4. Solo Walks (`dog-walking.ts`)

### Hero — five paragraphs again, same pattern

Current paragraphs 1-5 cover: who it's for, the dog types, walk length, coverage, honesty-at-Meet-&-Greet. Same compression opportunity.

Proposal — three paragraphs:

> "Built for dogs who do better one-on-one. Their pace. Their walk. Same walker every time."
>
> "Reactive on the lead. Recovering from surgery. A senior who needs it slower. An anxious rescue still finding their feet. These are the dogs solo walks are for."
>
> "30 minutes for seniors or lower energy. 45 for most. 60 for dogs who want a longer outing. Door-to-door, photo update after every walk."

The "honesty at Meet & Greet" sentence is already said on every other page — it's a brand-wide promise, not a hero claim.

### Highlight points

- `"For larger or more sensitive dogs"` body: `"When your dog needs more space, more clarity, or more attention — this gives us room to do it properly."` → **`"For dogs who need more space, clarity, or attention. We have room to give it."`** (drop "When your dog needs" → just state who it's for)

### Pricing intro

Current: `"Shaped around your dog, not a group schedule. For dogs who need extra attention, a steadier pace, or a more personal routine."`

Proposal: **`"Shaped around your dog. For dogs who need extra attention, a steadier pace, or more personal time."`** Cuts "not a group schedule" (over-explained by context), trims "more personal routine" → "more personal time" (concrete).

### Pricing plan features

Same pattern as pack-walks. Drop hedging "Best for…" labels or rewrite as facts.

| Plan | Current 4th feature | Proposal |
|---|---|---|
| 30 Min | `Good fit for lower-energy dogs` | `For seniors and lower-energy dogs` |
| 45 Min | `Best fit for many routines` | `Most popular length` |
| 60 Min | `Best for dogs needing a fuller outing` | `For dogs who want a longer outing` |

### Pricing scarcityNote

Current: `"A limited number of 1:1 slots are available each week."`

Proposal: **`"Solo slots are limited each week."`** Active, shorter, no passive "are available".

### Benefits intro

Current: `"More space. Steadier handling. A pace that fits. The whole week feels easier."`

Already strong. Keep.

### Benefit titles

- `"Full attention. No competition."` — keep. Strong.
- `"The walk matches their pace"` → **`"A walk at their pace"`** (more direct)
- `"Room to relax"` body has 21 words and ends in "without group pressure" — third time the page implies group pressure. Compress: **`"Without group pressure, anxious dogs move through the world more easily."`**
- `"A routine built around you both"` body: `"1:1 gives us flexibility to build a routine that works for your dog and your week."` → **`"We shape the routine around your dog and your week."`** (drop "1:1 gives us flexibility" — meta-framing, redundant)

### Booking dogIntro

Current: `"Tell us about your dog. Where you are. Anything we should know. We will come back about the right fit."`

Proposal: **`"Tell us about your dog. Where you are. Anything we should know. We'll come back about the fit."`** Match pack-walks pattern; contraction.

---

## 5. Puppy Visits (`puppy-visits.ts`)

### Hero subtitle

Current: `"While you're at work, your puppy is fed, played with, and looked after. At home."`

This is the v1 voice-doc's chosen example. Keep.

### Hero paragraphs

Currently four. Paragraph 3 is the strongest (the growth-plates / vet rationale) and is buried. Reorder + tighten:

Proposal:
> "A visit means a toilet break, fresh water, a feed if scheduled, play, and calm settling time before we leave. Photo update lands in your phone."
>
> "Short visits beat long walks while your puppy is growing. Vets recommend low-impact exercise until growth plates settle — usually 12 to 18 months. Visits give them company and stimulation without the joint stress."
>
> "Visits are also where Goodwalk usually starts. We know your puppy early, so the move to solo walks or Tiny Gang later is smooth."

Coverage line ("Across Auckland Central — Mt Eden, Ponsonby...") goes to the chip / FAQ. Three paragraphs, clearer order: what happens → why it's right for puppies → where it leads.

### Highlight title

Current: `"Calm routines now. A smoother Tiny Gang later."`

Already nice. Keep.

### Decision footnote

Current: `"Free Meet & Greet first. Always."`

Already nice. Keep.

### Pricing intro

Current: `"Built around your puppy. Real support now. Foundations for later, if Tiny Gang is the right fit."`

Proposal: **`"Built around your puppy. Real support now. Foundations for whatever comes next."`** "If Tiny Gang is the right fit" hedges and over-explains. The "whatever comes next" implies the same thing without conditional language.

### Plan features — same hedge pattern

| Plan | Current 4th feature | Proposal |
|---|---|---|
| 20 Min | `Good for shorter midday support` | `For shorter midday support` |
| 45 Min | `Best fit for many puppies` | `Most popular visit length` |
| 60 Min | `Best for pups needing more time` | `For pups who need more time` |

### scarcityNote

Current: `"Puppy Visit spaces are limited so we can keep care consistent."`

Proposal: **`"Puppy Visit spaces are limited."`** The reason is obvious and over-explained.

### Benefits intro

Current: `"The puppy stage moves fast. Daytime visits give your puppy support now — and build the routines that make later life easier."`

Proposal: **`"The puppy stage moves fast. Daytime visits help now, and build routines that make later life easier."`** Drop "give your puppy support" (abstract), use "help now" (concrete verb).

### Benefit body fixes

- `"Foundations for Tiny Gang later"` body: `"For puppies who may join Tiny Gang one day, early visits build the confidence and routines that make the next step smooth."` — TWO hedges in one sentence ("may", "one day"). → **`"For puppies who'll join Tiny Gang later, early visits build the confidence and routines that make the next step smooth."`**
- `"Support for busy owners too"` body has `"during a demanding stage"` — vague. → **`"Real help when puppies are learning fast. Guidance from someone who's been through this stage with dozens of dogs."`**

### FAQ "How long is each visit?"

Current answer says "30 minutes — the sweet spot" but the pricing plan starts at **20 minutes**. Inconsistency — fix the FAQ, not the price.

Proposal: **`"20 minutes for shorter midday support. 45 minutes for most puppies. 60 minutes if your pup needs more time."`** Matches the pricing plans exactly.

### FAQ "Can Puppy Visits lead into Tiny Gang…"

Current: `"Exactly what they are designed for. When your puppy is old enough and the right temperament fit, we already know them well. The next step is smooth, not new."`

Proposal: **`"Exactly what they're for. By the time your puppy is old enough, we already know them. The next step is smooth, not new."`** Contraction, drop "and the right temperament fit" (implied), drop "designed for" (passive-corporate).

### Booking dogIntro

Current: `"Tell us about your puppy. Where you are. Their routine. Anything we should know — and we will plan the right visit."`

Proposal: **`"Tell us about your puppy. Where you are. Their routine. We'll plan the right visit."`** Drop "Anything we should know — and we will" (redundant, hedging).

---

## 6. About page (`about.ts`)

### "Who we are" section

Current:
> "Alessandra started Goodwalk because she could not find a walker she trusted. So she became one."
> "She walks every dog herself. Posts photos to Instagram so you can see your dog's day. Knows some of the Tiny Gang from ten weeks old."
> "Thirty-plus five-star Google reviews say the same thing: the dogs adore her, and their owners finally stop worrying."

Line 1 is gold. Keep. Line 2 is fine. Line 3 has "say the same thing" which is filler.

Proposal line 3: **`"Thirty-plus five-star Google reviews: the dogs adore her, and their owners stop worrying."`** Drop "say the same thing" and "finally" (mild hedge).

### "How we do things"

Current:
> "Calm handling. Positive reinforcement. A walker who already knows your dog. Same principles, every walk."
> "Small packs because attention matters. Free pickup and drop-off because your day should not work around us. First aid certified. Public liability insured. That part is not negotiable."

Line 2 is doing six things at once. Split:

Proposal:
> "Calm handling. Positive reinforcement. A walker who already knows your dog. Same principles, every walk."
> "Small packs because attention matters. Free pickup and drop-off because your day shouldn't work around ours."
> "First aid certified. Public liability insured. Not negotiable."

Three paragraphs, three jobs. Contraction on "shouldn't".

### "Meet the founder" — line 3 (Maya)

Current: `"Maya is the reason small dogs sit at the centre of everything. A Cavalier King Charles cross Shih Tzu. Opinionated. Dramatic in the rain. Completely impossible to ignore on a walk — and the best argument we have for building a service around small dogs, not one that just makes room for them."`

Strong texture, but ends with a 27-word sentence past the voice budget (max ~24). Split:

Proposal:
> "Maya is the reason small dogs sit at the centre of everything. A Cavalier King Charles cross Shih Tzu. Opinionated. Dramatic in the rain. Impossible to ignore on a walk."
> "She's the best argument we have for a service built around small dogs — not one that just makes room for them."

### FAQ "Why do you specialise in small dogs?"

Current: `"Small dogs need different pace, different group dynamics, different handling. Goodwalk was built around that — not adapted from a generic dog-walking model."`

Proposal: **`"Small dogs need a different pace, different group dynamics, different handling. We were built around that, not adapted from a generic model."`** Active voice ("We were built" instead of "Goodwalk was built"), trim "dog-walking" (implied).

### FAQ "What suburbs do you cover?"

Current has 16 suburb names listed inline. The map / chips already show them. Compress:

Proposal: **`"Most of Auckland Central — Ponsonby, Grey Lynn, Mt Eden, Kingsland, Herne Bay, Remuera and surrounds. If you're nearby and unsure, just ask."`** Cuts the list to the highest-recognition six. The exhaustive list lives on the homepage Locations block and the coverage map.

---

## 7. Locations (`locations.ts`) — sweeping pattern

Every location intro is structured the same way: descriptive lead → "well-suited / natural home / ideal place for…" → Goodwalk services available → free pickup line. Three of these in a row, the pattern shows.

### Park descriptions — universal cleanup

The voice doc says "Replace abstract nouns with concrete verbs". Park blurbs lean on adjective-stacks:

- `"offers wide open paths, panoramic views across Auckland, and a mix of gentle and steeper terrain"` → **`"Wide open paths, panoramic views, gentle and steep terrain."`** (drop "offers")
- `"Popular with local dog walkers and a staple route for the Tiny Gang"` → keep.
- `"A well-used neighbourhood park… with open grass areas and shade trees"` → **`"Neighbourhood park with open grass and shade."`**

Recommend a pass on all 30+ park descriptions: cut every "offers", "provides", "with X and Y" sentence opener, and every "well-suited / ideal place / natural home".

### Intro pattern — propose a template

Right now Mt Eden's intro is 71 words. Most location intros are 50-80 words. Voice doc says "Body sentences: max ~24". Propose a 3-sentence template:

> "[Suburb] [one specific thing — geography, vibe, dog density]. [Goodwalk fact — who from here is in the Tiny Gang / what we run here]. Free pickup and drop-off."

Worked example, Mt Eden:

> "Mt Eden's volcanic cone, leafy streets, and mix of reserves and quiet paths make it a daily-outing favourite. We run pack walks and solo walks here weekly, with several Tiny Gang regulars based in the suburb. Free pickup and drop-off included."

53 words → still long, but every clause does work. Apply the template to all 17 suburbs in a follow-up pass.

---

## 8. Repeated lines across pages

The phrase **"Free pickup and drop-off across Auckland Central"** (or close variants) appears 14+ times: in hero chips, paragraph 4 of every service hero, FAQ answers, the coverage map, the locations page, and the about page. It's a real selling point — but said this often it stops landing.

Proposal — vary the wording by surface:

- **Chip** (compact): `"Free pickup & drop-off"`
- **Hero paragraph**: usually deletable since the chip is right there. If kept: `"Pickup and drop-off included, across Auckland Central."`
- **FAQ**: keep specific — that's where someone is actually checking.
- **Footer / coverage block**: `"Door-to-door across Auckland Central."`

Save the full sentence for places where the suburb list matters.

---

## 9. Summary of recurring fixes

If we agree on the principles below, I can sweep these patterns site-wide without you reviewing each one:

1. **Drop "Best for / Best fit"** in pricing features. State who it's for, or drop.
2. **Contractions** ("we'll", "shouldn't", "they're") where the surrounding tone is conversational.
3. **"1:1" → "Solo"** in body copy, navigation, decision blocks. Keep "1:1" in SEO meta/title where keyword volume might matter.
4. **Cut "properly", "actually", "genuinely", "really"** unless the sentence dies without them.
5. **Cut "we will come back about"** → "we'll reply about" / "we'll come back" (less corporate).
6. **Park descriptions**: rewrite the "offers / provides / well-suited / a mix of" sentences as concrete noun phrases.
7. **Service hero paragraphs**: target 3 paragraphs, not 5. Coverage and disqualifier lines move down the page.
8. **Drop reasons that are already obvious from context** — "so we can keep care consistent", "Higher rate than weekly routines", "in your home" after "in-home".

---

## What this changes for the reader

- Faster scan on every service page (3 hero paragraphs instead of 5).
- Consistent terminology between nav, body, and CTAs (no "1:1" / "Solo" / "one-on-one" mix).
- Pricing tables stop sounding like a SaaS comparison grid.
- Location pages stop reading like council brochures.

## What it does NOT change

- The brand voice from `marketing-voice.md` — this proposal is a stricter application of that voice, not a rewrite of it.
- SEO `<title>` / `meta description` / `llms.txt` keywords — those remain under a separate review (the "1:1" tradeoff lives there).
- Customer testimonials — never edited.
- Service names ("Tiny Gang", "Meet & Greet") — kept verbatim.

---

**Next step**: redline this file. Strike the changes you don't want, mark anything that needs different phrasing, and I'll apply the rest in one sweep. Or pick a single section to start with (homepage? service heroes? locations?) so we can validate the voice before going site-wide.